When Bad Word Choice Happens to Good People

For writers, word choice is critical. Joseph Joubert wrote, "Words, like glass, obscure when they do not aid vision." Words are meant to convey meaning or illicit feelings in our readers. Words should clarify rather than obscure. Bad word choice can be detrimental, but it can also be hilarious.

While sitting in a worship service, a man stepped up to the pulpit to say a prayer. Like most everyone in attendance, I bowed my head and tried to focus on the words of the prayer instead of thinking about the grocery list or the fact that my foot itched. His words were kind and thankful and full of hope. The prayer flowed easily, until he asked God to "hoover around us."

I imagined God pushing a vacuum, cleaning up after His children (and I suppose this is metaphorically true). Then I snickered and immediately tried to fake a cough. I imagined my 10-year-old self sitting in church being smacked on the knee by my best friend's mom with the rolled up bulletin.

I covered my mouth and opened my eyes. A man across the aisle watched me. He smirked, mimed vacuuming, and we shared a secret smile.

It's a great big world out there, and there are a few million words to choose from, so choose wisely.

The Baker's Man Giveaway

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The Baker's Man

by Jennifer Moorman

Giveaway ends January 25, 2013.
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The Right Tools for the Job

Before starting any job, you need the right tools for the job. Simple concept, right?

You're probably not going to have much luck building a makeshift fort without Grandma's quilts or a collection of your best friend's moving boxes. Try writing your novel with a screwdriver. Not gonna work—unless you're MacGuyver or you have a few thousand planks of wood on which to carve your masterpiece. Did you know MacGuyver actually made a defibrillator using only candlesticks, a microphone cord, and a rubber mat? Unbelievable.

There are those instances when you don't have the right tools for the job. These moments call for improvisation. You can ask yourself, "What would MacGuyver do?" The actor Christopher Walken said, "Improvising is wonderful. But, the thing is that you cannot improvise unless you know exactly what you're doing." You have to improvise with confidence.

Last winter where I live there wasn't much of a winter. The weather dropped below the freezing point possibly a handful of times. My windshield iced over only twice, so I never invested in an ice scraper. This winter, however, has been more severe, and my windshield has already iced over more than twice. I still don't have an ice scraper.

One recent morning, I raced outside, already running late, and discovered my frozen windshield. One frown, one colorful word, and one sigh later, I jumped into my car and asked, "What would MacGuyver do?" The answer was clear: "MacGuyver would grab the CD the preacher gave you (the one you've never listened to) and scrape." I asked, "Will it work?" Of course it would work. Improvise with confidence!

When it comes to writing, having the right tools is crucial. In fact, Stephen King writes, in his book On Writing, that a writer needs the right tools for her job. A writer's toolbox should contain grammar, vocabulary, elements of style, organization, form, etc. Without these essentials in the toolbox, a writer will flounder. Even though creating good fiction requires adhering to the rules within the toolbox, King also encourages spontaneity and improvisation, the willingness to write without a fully formed plot, write on hotel napkins, read beneath eaves in the attic, and create dialogue while standing in line for a movie ticket. King adds, "You'd do well to remember that we are also talking about magic" (King, On Writing, 137).

Be prepared, be willing to improvise, fill your writing toolbox with the essentials, and don't forget there is a sprinkling of magic in the craft.